The Decision

As I was growing up, I was never allowed to play outside with the neighborhood kids. My parents were very strict and they often worried about growing up in a city environment without constant adult supervision (and for that I am grateful). Due to the fact that I went to Catholic School and everyone else that resided in my neighborhood went to public school, we knew of each other, but didn't really KNOW anything about each other. When I graduated from high school, being as intrigued by people and curious to know everyone I grew up around, I decided to befriend them. This is where the story begins....

Lady J was my age. She was 18 and lived with her Dad. Her father had divorced her mother and had moved into the building with a girl he met at the club he managed at night. During the day, he worked for an armored truck service that delivered money to banks. Yes, he carried a gun and had a license to do so. He was a very large man, and set in his ways. He was a "machista". He thought women had a place of servitude in the home. The girl that he moved in with became pregnant right away, but she was not mother material. She loved the night life and all its vices and soon became a substance abuser. Presented with this new development, he made his daughter Lady J raise this child. He eliminated the possibility of his daughter's pursuit of a higher education or employment. Needless to say, he was hardly home working two jobs and she was left with the responsibility of this young child...her baby brother.

Lady J always had a smile on her face. She was always the life of the party and she was street smart. Well, at least I thought she was, at one time. Lady J had grown up and attended school with the other kids, so they had history. I on the other hand, was the newcomer. So the more we hung out the more I learned about them. I was flabberghasted to say the least. There were three other guys in their little clique. The studious alcoholic, the jokester and the wannabe thug. The jokester had been dating a girl in HS for a long time. They were high school sweethearts, but on the DL he was seeing Lady J. She had knowledge of his other relationship, but convinced herself that sooner or later she would prevail in this love triangle. In the meantime, she would interact with his girl friend as if nothing was going on with Mr. Jokester.

The confrontation that was looming in the shadows finally happened. Mr. Jokester's girlfriend started suspecting him of cheating. She went to his neighborhood to wait for him to confront him and started asking the clique many questions. Lady J was adamant when telling her that she knew nothing of his infidelities. The girfriend continued to ask more questions and grew more agitiated every moment. At that moment, Mr. Jokester turned the corner and what his girlfriend saw effected her like a blow. He was wearing the same exact outfit as Lady J, down to the sneakers. She stood there confused, bewildered angry and sobbing. It got really ugly and that was just the beginning.

Now everything was out in the open. Mr.Jokester no longer had to feel obligated to be with his girfreind and he was free to date Lady J. They were in a state of bliss. Her father decided to send her away on a much needed vacation for most of the summer. They would be apart for some time, but Mr. Jokester had his job and the rest of the clique would look out for each other. She went on vacation to enjoy some rest. During the first few weeks, she would here him from everyday and then it was less and less...until she heard nothing. No calls or letters were returned. She called her Dad and asked him to change her ticket to an earlier flight. She returned several days early and decided to go eat some pizza. At the neighborhood, pizzeria it was not known that she was involved with him. As she walked in they greeted her and said "Hey! Are you going to Mtr. Jokester's wedding?" She said "WHAT?!" And they repiled, "You didn't know that he was marrying his girl? The rest was a blur for her, they went on to give all the details as she stood oblivious to the world in a sea of emotions.

They got married and most of their mutual friends were in attendance except for Lady J. She was heartbroken, but would not let it be known. She disguised her sorrow with anger. This is when I came into their circle. After she told me the reason why she despised him so much, I had a loss for words. But what Icouldn't believe was that , he had started to try to communicate with her again. After many months alnost a year of silence, he tried to send her a letter through some mutual friends to explain his actions. I told her not to read it becasue he would succeeed in deceiving her again. She kept the letter unopened until one day, after having a few drinks...she and her cousin opened the letter. Pandora's Box. He apologized and explained that while she was gone, his ex had come and told him she was pregnant and her family prepared a shotgun wedding to not shame the family. I was very inquisitive as to his intentions and motives. He ended the letter by asking her to meet with him. I adviced her against it, but her other friends told her to just meet with him once to see what he had to say. Guess what? I was right. He managed to spin his web and got her to forgive him. He kept her under the false pretenses that he was going to divorce his wife. The relationship picked up where it had ended, before she went on vacation. Well, he didn't divorce his wife and when I questioned him about the baby...he said she mad miscarried earlier on. Ok? So, now he has two women at each other's throats, prank calling each other and waiting for confrontation. Meannwhile, he walked around like a peacock.

I started noticing that Lady J was gaining weight. I asked her about it not wanting to think it would be our worst nightmare, but it turned out to be that way. She was pregnant with his child and she hadn't told him yet. She asked if I would accompany her with her cousin to meet him by his job. We did. It was a horrible day. After he made all these romantic gestures and wooed her at his job...she gave him the news. It didn't go well. She was upset and cried all the way home. In her anger, she did nothing. Time went on and she started showing. She was depressed and was uncertain to her future. Her father had a temper and would hit her across the face without warning. He was also old fashioned with her and he would rage at the news. I tried to be as supportive as possible, but I didn't know what to do. Then, she asked the girls in the clique to accompany her to the clinic. I took off from school and work to be there.

We all went to the clinic with her. She sat there scared, upset and angry with herself and at him. She was called in and they told her she was close to five months. She was in there for a while and when she came out she did not look well. She cried and was ill all the way home. We were very scared, I did not know what had happened. We got her home safely and she went into shcok. She seemed delusional and rocked back and forth holding her belly asking for forgivess. That's when she said "I am killing my baby" Her cousin and another girl stayed with her all night and returned with her to the clininc the next day.

That next day, this is what she told me. They prepped her and explained that the abortion would have to be done in two visits because she had waited so long. They gave her a saline shot that would burn the "fetus". She would feel some "discomfort" and some buring sensations..but that would be normal. Then she was to return the following day to have the fetus removed. That was what my friend went through that night. Her cousin and friend told me they didn't sleep because she was often suicidal. I didn't realize she was going to have that procedure done. What a painful experience.

Soon after, she became pregnant again. This time, rermembering the trauma she had endured she chose to have the baby. She told me she made this conscious decision even if she had to raise him alone. She realized that the beating she might get from her father, the ridicule and humiliation of having a baby from a married man and all the other obstacles she would face...would be less traumatic then what she had endured. Several months later,she gave birth to a healthy baby boy that weighed about nine lbs. Unfortunately, so did his wife....